It's about a week before the day-hearts, pink, chocolates, roses yes it's VALENTINES DAY
That holiday. I am a self-confessed hopeless romantic, Valentines-day-and-the-colour-pink enthusiast, all that jazz but today I realised: I don't know the
first thing about love. (In this sense I'm talking about romantic love, not love between friends and family because thankfully I am in no shortage of those :D I am a lucky gal)
I love the idea of love alright; I love watching chick flicks like Bridal Wars and crying at the end, whenever a couple in my grade are holding hands or smile each at each other I always feel so happy and smiley and say awwwwwwwww :'), I believe in things like FATE and THE ONE etc
But my experience of love? NADA. ZILCH. In fact I'm so
lacking any type of 'experience' with guys that I have been referred to as 'prude', 'old lady', 'party-pooper', 'boring' etc by several different people at different points in my life. But the thing is, I don't actively seek to be a so-called 'prude' and it's not like I look down on other couples; I LOVE them and frequently think to myself how cute they are.
Other people seem to have the whole relationships thing down pat, and that's very admirable, but I know I am admittedly oblivious, naive, a complete over-thinker and over-worrier and question things like 'Is this how a normal relationship goes? What's supposed to happen?' Are there rules to dating, what constitutes a proper date, are you supposed to sit with them in classes after getting together, when are you supposed to introduce them to your parents, how often do these 'dates' happen etc etc and the questions continue. They just all baffle me! I don't understand this world of LOVE and how you're supposed to act and feel and things like that; it's a whole other world and currently I don't know if I'll ever even be ready in fact for these new experiences!
And gals like me, awkward 'prude' gals, we're criticised. We're not the norm in society, we're weird and abnormal and our advice isn't considered valuable or helpful to any friends with love problems because "You guys don't understand; you've never had a boyfriend!" True, I have not, true I might not be able to relate as much to your issues but I think our perspective is valuable too, although people have told me before that my views on life can't be trusted because I know so little and are so naive. Frankly, that hurts a little. I mean on urbandictionary, usages of the word 'prude' include:
God, she wouldn't kiss me. She's such a prude.
She won't have sex with me even though we've been going out for a month. What a prude!
and it's often used to mock or as an insult.
But, I think, it's
okay to be awkward and inexperienced in love. It's okay to be a 'prude'.
In time, God will send the One to me if that is in my life plan, if not then it was never supposed to happen anyway and my life will be just as fulfilling through other activities such as cat collecting, writing letters and sending through the post, cooking all that sort of stuff :)
If that means I will go through life without having kissed a single person, then so be it. There are so many 'things' society says needs to be done or assumes is done by a certain age; for example stereotypically it is thought teenagers will all have tried alcohol (still never) and have those 'teen parties', and movies like 'The 40-year-old Virgin' (I haven't seen it but I'm assuming the title tells a lot about what type of person the movie is based around) showcase exactly how this behaviour is characterised as 'odd' and 'atypical' by society. Why all the pressures? Let things happen as they happen, never rush to do something just to do something. I'm not in a hurry to go and kiss just to 'lose it', and that part in the movie 'New Years Eve' where random people kiss in the streets just because the countdown from 10-1 ended and it's a new year is just not acceptable! It makes it look like it's the norm and it's completely fine to go around kissing whoever (which is why I feel SO uncomfortable when I hear about girls kissing other girls just for the fun of it; WHYYY) when it's completely NOT! It's something special, saved until you are well, WELL more than half-a-year into a relationship and NEVER something for the first date. I don't judge others who may do this, just personally I would never do the whole kissing people randomly thing.
So on behalf of all of us 'awkward in love' girls, I don't care that I am a 'prude' and am inexperienced and naive. Personally, if I can't see yourself myself marrying that person, I would not date them.
So anyway-I know this post was rather rambly but a main point I want to make-(esp to the people telling me to date right now) don't make life (either your own or others') full of drama! Listen to some classical music, play an instrument, read a nice book and love your friends and I think we're all set :3
Love: Michelle
Anyway, so now I know for sure who my valentine is for next week; my darling, beautiful BISCUIT.
Biscuit as a puppy <3 For Feb 14th I shall give her a pig ear, her favourite :D
Also, I realise this post may cause people to call me a prude, but it's okay, I have accepted that :)
On another note, The Secret World of Arrietty, a Studio Ghibli film, is coming to cinemas!! So excited!!
